Assisting the Bosshole Read online

  “Thank you, Doris.”

  3

  Parker

  “HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA keep Logan waiting?” Lucas arches a brow.

  “I don’t know... an hour or two. What does it matter? The asshole is getting paid.”

  “Because it’s rude. He knows you’re aware he’s here.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t care. I'm the boss, I do what I want and the sooner he realizes that the better.”

  “You’re such a prick.”

  “Listen, Lucas, we can't all be super nice and happy like you. Some of us are human.” Owen tosses the football at Lucas’s head; he catches it without even looking.

  “All I'm saying is would it kill the two of you to be a little nicer to our employees?”

  “Yes,” We say in unison.

  “I tried to be nice, calling them darling and honey, sweetcheeks and sexy, but noooooo, they don’t like that shit. So, I’ll stay an asshole.” Owen shrugs, grabbing a piece of chocolate out of my stash in my second drawer. He pops it in his mouth before moving to my couch, laying down like he owns the place.

  “You called someone sweetcheeks? Sexy? It’s amazing we haven’t been sued for sexual harassment yet,” Lucas grumbles. “I'm going, I have shit to do. Introduce yourself to Logan and try to be less... you. They're gonna run outta assistants soon... Owen, go see if Tina has any cookies for you.”

  “Oh, Tina always has some cookies for me.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

  “I'm gonna go find a lawyer for our impending lawsuits.” Lucas rolls his eyes, buttoning his suit jacket and straightening his glasses. The man looks like a stereotypical businessman, unlike Owen and I. “Let’s go, Powell.”

  Owen grumbles under his breath but slowly rises from the couch and follows Lucas out the door. They both stop right outside, Owen shakes his head, chuckling.

  “Fuck, this is gonna be good... Call me later, Parker. I want to know all about your new assistant.”

  I roll my eyes; I swear he finds humor in my misery. Logan is probably some dorky nerd with no socialization ability. He probably takes everything seriously and will cry within twenty minutes. I let out a long sigh, praying for him to resign quickly.

  “Logan, get in here,” I growl.

  Dropping into my chair, I pull up my schedule for the day, refreshing my mind with what I need to get done. When I hear footsteps, I begin talking without ever glancing up.

  “Alright listen, you probably aren’t going to last the day working for me. Apparently I'm mean. I expect you to answer my calls, but never put anyone except Lucas Coleman or Owen Powell through to me without checking first. I don’t give a damn if my mother is calling, you check with me before you put her through to me. You’ll handle my schedule, make sure appointments don’t overlap and confirm meetings the day before. If I ever show up to a meeting to find my client isn't there, you’re fired. Don’t question me or my decisions, you’re my employee and nothing more. We aren’t friends or buddies, don’t call me when you’re drunk or on the weekends when you want someone to hang out with, I have Owen and Lucas, I don’t need more friends. Never address me as Parker, I’m Mr. Scott to you.” I shuffle through the papers on my desk, searching for one in particular. When I find it, I continue, “Here’s a list of shit that’s your responsibility, don’t disappoint me, I won't hesitate to fire you.”

  When manicured nails reach out for the paper, I finally turn my attention to my assistant with furrowed brows. I swear, if he paints his nails he’s fucking gone.

  My eyes travel from the red fuck me heels, up toned legs to a black skirt that hugs every delicious curve this woman has. A red blouse barely covers the swell of her breasts, a black jacket buttons right below those gorgeous mounds. Long brown hair hangs in waves and she’s biting her fucking bottom lip, making my brain head south. She has a cute little pert nose and large gray eyes outlined perfectly in eyeliner and mascara. Jeez, I want to fuck this woman.

  “What the fuck! Where’s Logan?” I demand.

  The gorgeous woman opens her mouth to respond but I hold up a hand to stop her. I pound my finger on the speaker button, dialing Doris’s number.

  “Yes, Mr. Scott? Did you scare off Logan already? I really thought this one would stick.”

  “Where the fuck is Logan? I don’t have time for this shit!”

  “When I left, Logan was at the desk outside of your office. I'm sorry, Parker, I’ll be right up.”

  She disconnects the call, no doubt running to my office.

  “Why would you let me go on and on about Logan’s work responsibilities when you aren’t Logan! You’ve wasted so much of my time. Do you even work here?” I level her with the same scowl that made my last assistant quit.

  She lifts her chin, a confident stubbornness on full display.

  “Yes, I do work here, Mr. Scott.”

  Damn, my name rolls off her sexy lips like honey.

  “Which department? Who’s your boss?”

  She doesn’t shy away from my scowl, she looks almost... bored. What the hell?

  “You are, Mr. Scott.”

  She needs to stop saying my name like that or I'm going to bend her over my desk and Lucas won't be happy with the lawsuit that would be sure to follow.

  “Of course I'm your boss, I'm everyone’s boss.”

  “Sir, I'm Logan Johnson, your new assistant.”

  “But you’re a woman.”

  “Thank you for noticing.”

  I blink at her several times. Is this woman serious?

  “Logan is a guy’s name.”

  “Yes and no. Typically, it’s used for males more than females but it’s actually a gender-neutral name. My father was hoping for a son.” She shrugs like it’s not a big deal.

  “Mr. Scott, I'm so sorry!” Doris’s voice floats through the door before she’s even in the office. “I don’t know what happ-” Her words die on her tongue when she spots the woman in front of me. “Logan? Where were you? Mr. Scott said you weren’t here.”

  “Logan’s a fucking woman?” I spit out. Doris’s attention snaps to me, she blinks three times before she opens her mouth.

  “Yes, Logan’s a woman.”

  “Logan’s not a woman’s name, you coulda warned me.”

  “Parker... can you just... not. This is your new assistant, Logan.” She gestures to the beautiful woman in the fuck me heels. “Please don’t scare her off, I won't have a replacement.”

  Doris turns on her heels and marches out of my office in a huff.

  “Are you satisfied now that Doris has confirmed my identity?”

  “Just do your fucking job.” I growl.

  4

  Logan

  “I HAVE A FEW QUICK questions, then I’ll leave you. Will you be needing me to order lunches for you?”

  “I can order my own fucking food.”

  “Great, my last boss couldn’t. Do you want me to come along and take notes at your meetings?”

  “Do you think I'm incapable of doing anything myself?”

  “No, Mr. Scott. I'm just clarifying what is expected of me. I performed all of these duties and more in my last position. Am I expected to buy gifts for a wife, fiancé or girlfriends?”

  “What the fuck, Logan! I can buy my own gifts.”

  “Good, I hated that job. Am I expected to be available for you at all times of the day?”

  I swear his eyes darken as his stare intensifies. I’d pay good money to know what’s going through his head right now.

  “I expect you to answer my call night or day, but you don’t need to drop everything and come to the office.”

  “Great, I’ll enjoy the freedom. If you don’t need anything else, I’ll be at my desk.”

  I spin on my heels, adding an extra sway to my hips making my way to my desk. Muttered curses float through the air and I can't help the smirk on my lips. No one expects me to last but they don’t know me. If I can overcome the last four years of my life, I can survive Parker Scott without
a problem.

  The morning passes quickly, I screen phone calls for Mr. Scott, add some meetings to his schedule and memorize the list of duties he gave me. At exactly noon, I knock on Mr. Scotts door.

  “What!” He barks.

  “Mr. Scott, I have some important things to go over with you.”

  The most dramatic sigh I’ve ever heard comes from the other side of the door, before he bellows for me to come in. I take a deep breath and let it out, twist the knob and push open the door to the beast behind.

  Papers are scattered across the surface of his desk. He’s tugging on his hair in frustration, his eyes darting from one paper to another before he shuffles through them, piling new documents on top.

  “Is there anything I can help with, Mr. Scott?”

  “Stop fucking calling me Mr. Scott,” He growls.

  “I'm sorry, Sir. What would you like me to call you? You specifically asked me to call you Mr. Scott this morning.”

  “Parker, just call me Parker.”

  “Ok... Parker, is there anything I can help you with? You seem a bit frazzled.”

  He levels me with a glare, even that does nothing to hide how attractive he is. His black hair was slicked back before he started tugging on the ends. His dark chocolate eyes have flecks of green in them. Parker lost his suit jacket he was wearing earlier, now only a white shirt adorns his chest. His sleeves are rolled up with care to his elbows and the top two buttons are undone, a tie hanging loosely around his neck.

  “Fuuuuuck. Don’t call me Parker either.”

  “I'm sorry?” I frown in confusion. “I really don’t know what you want me to call you.”

  “Just... I don’t know but don’t call me Parker or Mr. Scott, anything but those.”

  “Can I ask why?”

  “Why what?” His attention is already back to the papers in front of him, completely ignoring me.

  “Why can't I call you Parker or Mr. Scott?”

  “Fuck, Logan! I said don’t call me either of those.”

  “Yes, Sir. Do you have time to go over your schedule for tomorrow or shall I come back later?”

  “Might as well go over it now, I'm not making sense of this mess anyway.”

  He motions for me to take a seat across from him. I slowly lower myself to the chair, smoothing out my skirt and crossing my ankles. I pull up his schedule on my tablet before I begin.

  “You’re scheduled to meet with Mr. Smyth tomorrow for lunch, I called his office and confirmed with his assistant that he’ll be there. They asked that you bring the contract with you, Mr. Smyth will be flying home immediately after your meeting and won't be able to meet later on in the week like you previously discussed.”

  “He didn’t feel the need to tell me this himself? I have my entire day cleared on Friday for him!”

  “I made it very clear it isn't appreciated they didn’t reach out to us with this information when they discovered he wouldn’t be there. You’re an important man and you don’t need people wasting your time. His assistant apologized and said she just found out; I made her aware it better not happen again.”

  His eyes widen, surprise evident in his features.

  “Oh, wow. Good. What else?”

  “Mr. Barton’s assistant called; he can't meet next week due to personal reasons. Jennifer wanted to know if we could move the meeting to this week or push it back to the following week. I said I’d check with you and get back to them, I wasn’t sure if you were prepared for the meeting yet. Jennifer confirmed Friday at any time will work if you give me the go ahead.”

  “I'm ready for the meeting. Friday works, schedule a lunch that will make Owen happy. Make sure you clear the time with Lucas and Owen’s assistants before you get back to Mr. Barton.”

  “I already did, they said it was fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  He stares at me for a few moments, grabs the back of his neck and huffs.

  “No. I can handle myself.”

  “Very well, if you need anything I’ll be at my desk.”

  5

  Parker

  “AREN'T YOU GOING TO lunch?”

  “Yes, I’ll eat at my desk.”

  What the hell? Why wouldn’t she want to eat with the rest of the employees? Doesn’t she want to get to know people and make friends? If she stays at her desk all the time people are going to think she’s just as much of a prick as I am.

  “Why don’t you eat in the lunch room like everyone else?”

  “Do you eat in the lunch room?”

  “Fuck no, I don’t even know where it is.”

  “Then why is it weird if I don’t?”

  “Well... because everyone else eats in there?”

  “Mr. Powell and Mr. Coleman?”

  I snort with laughter at the thought of Owen or Lucas eating with the employees. They wouldn’t be caught dead in there, unless it’s for cookies, but then they’d leave right away.

  “They wouldn’t step foot in there.”

  “Exactly, so I’ll take my lunch at my desk.”

  She spins around, her curvy ass swaying back and forth as she walks away from me in those fucking red heels. This woman baffles me, every other assistant would’ve quit by now, most ran crying long before noon.

  Why is she still here? What makes her so much tougher than the rest? Not only did she do everything I asked of her, but she went above and beyond.

  I’d never admit it to Logan, but she’s impressing me.

  “Mr... Sir, Mr. Powell is on line two.”

  “What?” I answer Owen’s call.

  “Logan’s fucking hot.”

  “Did you call me to point out the obvious or did you want something?”

  “We’re going to the Italian place for lunch. Be ready in five... actually ten, I have something to do.”

  Before I can respond, Owen hangs up. I slam the receiver down and turn back to the papers in front of me. I swear I can never find the papers I'm looking for, there’s got to be some way to organize this better but I'm the worst person for the job.

  Two minutes have gone by when I hear Owen’s deep voice on the other side of my door. I can't focus when he’s around, it’s why his office is on the other side of the floor. I fling the door open, finding him perched on the edge of Logan’s desk, his flirty smirk plastered on his lips.

  “Stop flirting with my assistant, fucker.”

  “I'm not, I was just welcoming Logan to the company. I invited her out for drinks after work but she hasn’t accepted yet.”

  “And I'm not going to,” Logan states, turning back to her computer.

  “Aww, sweetheart, you don’t mean that.”

  “Mr. Powell, I'm here to work, not socialize.”

  “Damn, Parker, she’s perfect for you. Did you turn her into this or did she come this way?”

  “Please ignore the idiots, Logan.” Lucas flashes her a genuine smile as he saunters up to us. “I’ve tried to train them but it’s hopeless, they're still assholes.”

  “I’ve noticed. It’s fine, I’ve dealt with worse.”

  “Shit, there’s worse than Parker?” Owen chuckles.

  “Are we going to lunch or not?”

  “Yes, I'm starving. Logan would you like to join us?” Lucas asks softly.

  “I'm ok, promise.”

  “It’d be nice to get to know our newest employee, especially one we’ll all be spending a decent amount of time with.”

  “It’s fine, you guys go ahead.”

  Logan pulls a protein bar out of her purse and starts nibbling on it, turning back to her computer.

  “Is that your fucking lunch?”

  “What?”

  “Is that shitty bar what you consider lunch?”

  “Yes. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

  “Nope, no. You’re coming with us.”

  “Par-... Mr... What the fuck do you want me to call you?” She snaps.

  Owen and Lucas’s eyebrows kiss their hairlines, their mouths
hanging open slightly, eyes darting between Logan and I.

  “I’ll be back in an hour,” I growl, stomping out of the office like a child. This woman gets under my skin like no one else can.

  “SO... LOGAN’S FUN.” Lucas smirks over the rim of his coffee cup.

  “Can we not?” I beg.

  “Where would be the fun in that? That woman fucks with you and it’s amazing to watch.” Owen settles back in his chair, waiting for the entertainment to begin.

  “She’s very beautiful,” Lucas states diplomatically.

  “Oh please, she’s sexy as fuck. I’d do so much to her if she were my assistant.”

  “This is why I had to pay a retainer fee today to secure a team of lawyers. It’s not a question of if we’re gonna get sued, it’s when. My bet is sooner rather than later with you talking about our employees like that.”

  “Parker, can we switch assistants? Tina does a great job, but she doesn’t have an ass or rack like that.”

  “You can't just take his assistant because she’s hotter than yours, Owen. Sometimes I wonder why I chose to take over the business with the two of you. I could’ve made something of my life.”

  “You’re worth twenty billion dollars, most people would consider that successful.”

  “Yes, but I wouldn’t have to play daddy to you fuckers.”

  “Aww, you want us to call you daddy? Daddy, please, daddy! Harder, daddy! Punish us, daddy, we’ve been bad,” Owen moans in a breathy voice.

  “Shut the fuck up, man. People are starting to stare.” Lucas tries to sound stern but he’s laughing too hard for us to take him seriously.

  “Oh! You should tell Logan to call you daddy!”

  “Oh, hell no. It’s bad enough when she says Parker or Mr. Scott,” I groan.

  “What’s wrong with how she says your name?” Lucas smirks, fucker knows exactly what’s wrong with it.

  “She says it all breathy and shit, makes me think of her moaning my name as I bend her over my desk.”